You need to stop worrying about love. Stop worrying about whether you will find it at the corner bookstore, at the company party, at the cousin’s best friend’s wedding. Stop stressing over Tinder matches or Instagram photos or the paralyzing thought, “Am I even datable?” Just stop.

When you put your energy, and time, and constant stressful thoughts into your not-even-real-yet relationship, you’re pulling yourself away from what really matters – the everyday life – the happiness, the joy you find in focusing on who you are as a person and what makes you, you.

You need to stop worrying about WHO to love and focus on WHAT you love.

What motivates you? What makes you passionate? What drives you? Focus on those things. Thrive on those things.

Instead of scouring through potential dates’ Facebook profiles, lose yourself in a good book. Instead of primping to look ‘presentable’ for a possible significant other, dress in what makes you feel good. Instead of constantly comparing yourself to other people’s relationships and how they’re presented on social media, pour yourself into your work and your own online presence.

Be you, before you become someone else’s.

WHAT do you love? Is it art? Sports? Music? Friendships? Sewing? Cooking? Hunting? Reading? Event-planning? Photography? Put your energy, your excitement, your focus, your whole self into those things. Lose yourself in your work, in your hobbies, in your friendships, in YOU.

And while you’re busy becoming a better, more complete version of yourself, the love you’ve been searching for will find its way to you.