Existing In The In-Betweens

📷: Stephen Sandian

The moments after your prayers and before your next steps. The times you’re trying so desperately to trust but you’re still waiting for answers, for some sort of truth surrounding what path to take. The days you open your eyes, searching for a sign, but trying to continue, even when you’re not quite sure of the right direction. These are the in-betweens. The thoughts, decisions, emotions that exist within the space of stillness and movement, where you don’t know, and yet you try to let something happen. You let yourself be led.

In life, existing in the in-betweens is inevitable. We have moments from the last day of our past career until we find a new job, from the night our previous relationship broke apart until the morning we believe in love again, from the final breath until we find a way to move on from someone’s death, carrying their legacy within us.

The in-betweens are the moments we’re unsure—of who we are, where we’re going, what we should be doing next. We find ourselves spinning, searching, praying for some semblance of truth. We’re running wildly without a direction. We’re lost.

And yet, we’re also found; we’re met right where we are.

When we surrender to the moments of confusion, when we accept that life is out of our control and that’s okay, then we begin to watch God move in our lives, watch the universe bring us exactly what we were unconsciously looking for. When we trust that there’s a plan greater than what we’ve created in our minds, when we believe that everything will work itself out in time, then we slow down and can appreciate the moments of indecision and fear for what they are—catalysts for growth.

When we choose to find peace in the messiness of our lives, that’s where we begin to change as people. No longer victim to what’s happening to us, but strong in our resilience and positivity, despite the circumstances we face.

Existing in the in-betweens means finding a way to let go of all the expectations and replacing them with new dreams and goals. It means building a new roadmap as life shifts, while not giving up on everything you believe in. It means discovering the truths the universe is trying to teach you, even when you’re unsure, or afraid, or utterly lost.

Existing in the in-betweens means letting go of any preconceived notions and channeling your energy into following the path set before you, even if you’re not quite certain it will all pan out. It’s understanding that life is in a constant state of movement, and choosing to move along with it, to write your story with each step.

Existing in the in-betweens means finding happiness, even when everything looks different than what you imagined and having confidence in the fact that life is still so damn beautiful, even when it’s not falling according to your plan.

It’s making peace with the present and fighting for a future. It’s celebrating where you are, and yet, looking to what’s coming with hope and promise, even when the path to get there is unclear.

We exist in this space so often, and though we push back against it, though we want so desperately to claw our way out—this is the space that gives our lives excitement, this is the space that changes us, this is the space that makes us who we are.