I did a thing.
I read some hater comments.
Now rule #1 of being a writer in this day and age is to NEVER READ THE COMMENTS. Or at least that’s what I’ve been warned since becoming a professional writer. But I never wanted to follow that rule. I wanted to know what people were saying. I wanted to thank those that shared kind words, take note of opposing perspectives, and maturely and politely disagree with those who were completely bashing my writing.
I knew I would come across people who vehemently disagreed with what I had to say, and I was okay with that.
What I never expected, though, were people who would tell me that they hated me as a person, people that would insult, harass, and completely degrade me, over and over again for what I felt were honest, genuine, and emotion-filled pieces of writing.
Here’s one example:
“Marisa…. Mari… Ari…. Rosa…..Don Nelly… Marisa Donnelly…. Domnelly…
Whatever dumb stupid a** name (u post), you go by these days, and believe me, this coming from someone that…was once blinded…with your shity, unfaithful, desperate, and not forgiving morals! Your so-call actions are so pathetic, one would question that, why? why would someone like you? even right a story or even, think (which you lack, yes a brain), think you have the privilege to (patting your fat a**), to write plus comment and worst give advice? Step back from your f*cked up (ssstttddd), mirror! You make women, and you give women a bad name!“
This comment continues:
”You’re not in any way, in the Queen category! You will definitely and always remain alone, with your cat’s, ssttdd’s, books, and whatever else you stick in your “no butt” a** these days. God don’t like ugly, but in your case, he made an exception and produced a cowardly, money hungry, selfish, Cat (p*ssy), that loves to f*ck with people’s emotions and all their “circle of friends”, more like losers with no morals as well.”
You definitely have a lot of fucken growing up to do, a lot of learning to do… alot praying period, if it helps… your f*cken so childish, immature and need to f*cken…, grow up, period! …Please get that through your fucken head! you have no clue when it comes to ‘Relationship Wise’ scenarios or situations. You don’t even know what that f*cken means, or let alone… feels… like…. OKAY!”
There was more. But this is the gist of it. Among many other comments that labeled me as a ‘child,’ ‘immature,’ ‘naïve,’ ‘f-cking stupid,’ ‘b-tchy,’ ‘spoiled brat,’ etc. etc.
There were, of course, many positive comments as well, but like anything painful, it (unfortunately) tends to stick with you.
In reading the comments, I tried to keep a positive mindset. Many close friends and family members had advised me of this, and I tried to remember their words as I read. I tried to see that some of the comments were completely off-base or not the least bit credible.
But it didn’t make them hurt any less.
I felt like I was being attacked for my opinions, for my perspectives, for what I was sharing from the bottom of my heart. For who I was. I could understand that some people didn’t agree, but did they need to attack me for it?
I admit, I was upset for a little. I had to stop (which, by the way, just stop if you’re ever in a reading-the-bad-comments-mode). And then I did something else to take my mind off it.
When I came back, I decided something. I decided to not let the pain take over my life.
I’m not a weak-minded person that’s going to change my entire life perspective because of these comments. But I will admit that even though they’re comments shared over the internet, they still hurt.
These comments inspired me to write a piece on internet bullying: I’m So Freaking Tired Of Internet Bullying. And they also made me raise my voice a little bit.
I’m not going to change who I am for petty, attacking words shared behind a computer screen. And I won’t validate opinions of people who don’t know the least thing about me.
I am bigger than those comments, and any other artist, writer, creator, etc. in a similar situation, please know this—you are too.
Photo Credit: Kari Shea