Have you ever looked back on your life and realized that if you haven’t done one little thing, hadn’t made one little choice, the entire trajectory of your path would be completely different?
Maybe I’m just an over-thinker, but today I’ve been struck by that thought over and over again.
If I hadn’t fallen for the ‘wrong’ guy, would I have realized my worth? Would I have found my independence after our breakup? Would I have discovered that self-love was, and always would be the greatest force within me?
If I hadn’t gone into the bar with my friend (even though I wasn’t in the mood and definitely wasn’t dressed the part) would I have bumped into the person who now plays such a significant role in my life? Would I have realized it’s not the location that matters, but the feeling you get from someone? Would I have been open to possibility and the fact that you can find love in the hopeless of places? (~Queue Rhianna song~ lol).
The point is, if I hadn’t said “yes,” hadn’t done something out of the norm, hadn’t taken a chance, so many things would have stayed the same in my life (or possibly even gotten worse). And that simple realization has shown me, again and again, that it’s infinitely better to try and to fail, to love and be broken, to jump and fall than to stay stuck in one place.
We’re so scared to make mistakes—but what if each of those ‘mistakes’ are essential in becoming who we are? What if those ‘mistakes’ aren’t even mistakes at all, but blessings?
Falling for the ‘wrong’ person teaches us what we deserve, getting our hearts broken shows us how to love ourselves back into healing, taking the wrong job allows us to learn what it is we want and need in our lives, etc. etc.
Every single decision defines where we go, but what if, instead of fearing our next steps we realized that there’s never a ‘wrong’ choice? That everything we do will change and define us—in both good and bad ways—but will create the complete story that is us.
Now I don’t mean that you should just go out and be reckless, doing things without regard to your future, your wellbeing, the people around you etc. What I mean by ‘there’s no wrong choice’ is that every single thing you do, try, attempt, trust, will shape you into the man or woman you’re meant to be. (Even the poor choices you make along the way). Obviously you should always try to do the right thing, but if you happen to make a mistake along the way—so what?!—this is a lesson learned, a lesson that will guide you back down the road you’re meant to be on. This will be a blip in the story of who you are. And you’ll recover.
But honestly, so much pressure will be taken off when we free ourselves from the heavy expectation of knowing all the answers, of having this life figured out, of being smart 100% of the time. We won’t have or be all those things. It’s impossible. And when we embrace that fact and step forward regardless—that’s when we begin to grow.
When we stop trying to analyze life and all the potential outcomes and instead just take a chance on what feels right, believe in what jives with our hearts, trust the person that seems legitimate—that’s when our lives begin to change in amazing ways.
No, not always perfect ways, or healthy ways, or the best ways. But each of those choices shapes who we are, shapes how we get through the painful stuff to the ‘good stuff,’ shapes where we will go next.
So date that person, take that job, say “yes,” step forward, believe.
There’s no guarantee it’ll all go right, but there’s no guarantee it’ll all crash and burn, either.
So why wouldn’t you take that chance?