Love & Relationships
Comments 9

I Am Not Just A ‘Netflix and Chill’ Type of Girl

couple cuddling on bed, Netflix and chill

I am not just a ‘Netflix and chill’ kind of girl. Not the ‘Hey babe, come over now that it’s 3AM and I’m bored and lonely.’ Not the ‘close the door and make-out with me during this entire movie.’ Not the ‘let’s sit and watch thirty-five back-to-back episodes of Orange is the New Black and share this box of pizza’ type. No.

I am the kind of girl that wants you to take me on a crazy adventure…to the backyard. Push me on the tree swing and tell me about your life, your hometown, your high school best friend. Let’s take a walk around the block. Let’s skip rocks on the pond. Let’s get in your car and go to a playground, take turns sliding down the slides. Let’s just play music and drive.

Entertain my mind. Tell me something that makes you happy, like when you hit that two-run triple that won the state championship or when you taught your little brother how to fish. Let’s build a campfire. Let’s play cards, write a bucket list, compare or the size of our big toes. Take me somewhere. On a vacation. A trip to South Beach, a flight to Miami for Ultra Music Festival, a ticket to the Minnesota State Fair. Spoil me. But not always. I’m not a needy girl.

Take me to the little hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant on 53rd and James. To the drive in movie theater thirty miles out of town. I want adventures with you. I want memories. I want us to look back through albums of pictures, me on your lap, your one hand on my hip and the other pointing to the photograph of us on the ledge of the Grand Canyon, my smile stretched across my face like a little kid’s.

I don’t want your money. I really just want your time.

I don’t mind cuddling on the couch for a movie. And I don’t mind pizza, especially when it’s pepperoni, sausage, and onion, but I don’t want the same routine. I don’t want the TV over the sound of your voice. I don’t want to have this meaningless connection with you, an embrace that means nothing. A night together with no promise of a future.

Some days I am content just lying next to you. Not saying anything. Just feeling your heartbeat and mine, letting my mind wander to future dates, future memories, future adventures. I don’t always want something crazy. Some nights I just want to be around you and friends, laughing and throwing back beers.

I’m not the kind of girl you can call when you’re lonely. The girl you know you can text and she’ll always pick up. The girl that you can hold until you fall asleep then do the same thing tomorrow. The girl who will just sit and watch shows with you, day after day, night after night. The girl you want to kiss, but not keep.

No, I’m not just a ‘Netflix and chill’ type of girl. I want to hear about the little things that make you, you. Your biggest regret, how dandelions make your nose itchy, that your favorite season is fall, or the time you broke your toe riding your best friend’s bicycle in fuzzy slippers.

I want you to challenge me. Change my view on politics, on religion. Teach me how to fix a flat tire, how to say ‘hello’ in six different languages, how to dribble a soccer ball.

I don’t want to be bored by you. I don’t to be just a hookup to you. I want to spend my life making adventures with you. Carving our initials into tree bark and mountain sides, buying fifty-cent post cards from every gas station in the U.S. and mailing them to ourselves, trying beer in every country, collecting sand from each beach we’ve walked on.

I want to go to bed every night exhausted. Wake up every morning renewed. I want to chase dreams with you. I want to be the reason you feel young, the reason you love life. I want to be more than just the girl you’ve seen every television episode with, or the girl you invite over when it’s night and you’re lonely.

Don’t get me wrong. I will watch movies with you, a bucket of caramel corn between us, my head snuggled against your chest, our legs intertwined. I will build forts in the living room, dress in my comfiest baggy clothes, have marathons of Breaking Bad and consume copious amounts of junk food. I will kiss you. I will talk to you until we’re both so tired we fall asleep mid-sentence. These things will make me happy, too.

But not as exciting as living our lives. Not the same as sharing memories and moments as good—even better—than what’s on the television screen. Better than a one-night stand, so meaningless, so empty.

I don’t want temporary, I want something that stays.

Featured Image Credit: Thought Catalog

This entry was posted in: Love & Relationships


Marisa Donnelly, M.Ed., is a writer/editor, credentialed teacher, proud bonus mama, and CEO of Be A Light Collective, a coaching and content creation business and digital marketplace. She is the Director of Donnelly’s Daily Apple, a flexible learning/tutoring and educational resource platform, and the lead voice for Momish Moments and Step by Step Parents, verticals dedicated to sharing and advocating for non-traditional parenting journeys. Marisa currently resides in San Diego, California, with her fiancé, kiddo, and their two rambunctious Pitbulls. ❤️


  1. Pingback: Another Voice On the ‘Netflix and Chill’ Culture | Word & Sole

  2. You sound like the type of girl who would be amazing to be friends with. It’s also really good to have that sense of self and to know what you want and don’t want out of a relationship.

    • Haha awh, thanks so much! Yes, it’s taken me a couple relationships, a few broken hearts, and some dream-chasing for me to sort of have a sense of what I want. But it’s not always easy when your heart gets in the way! Haha but I know one thing, I don’t want to waste my life watching tv! 🙂

    • Do you feel that you fare better with a partner who shares your outlook, or with someone that you would view as your opposite?

    • Honestly, I’m beginning to realize that I need someone with similar interests. In the past I’ve dated guys pretty opposite. That was good for me in a lot of ways. I need balance, someone who will challenge me and do things differently. But when it comes to things I believe strongly in, or feel passionate about, it seems to work better (for me) to be more alike than different.

    • So I guess it’s a combination of both, really. But similar about the most important values/beliefs.

    • For the most part I tend to live in my shell, so I would benefit by being with someone a little more outgoing to challenge me a bit.

      In the long-term, that wouldn’t be beneficial to the other person because I wouldn’t be compatible with their desire to adventure and try new things.

      Thanks for commenting and sharing by the way. 🙂

    • It’s interesting how love works, isn’t it? I think that in general, we change and compromise and find people that mold us into different versions of ourselves. Sometimes I think that we’re meant to be with someone that changes us, someone that we change, but also someone that is compatible with our desires. If that’s even possible! Haha, but yeah, definitely! It’s great to chat with people and I appreciate you commenting! Makes me think about my writing and connections to other people–it’s really fun! Have a good day! 🙂

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