We imagined love to be a certain way. We imagine that the people we fall for, fall into, will make us feel as if we finally belong. As if we’re finally coming home. In some ways, we crave the comfort and security. We’re looking for someone who ‘gets it,’ who makes us feel as if we’re.
Don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing wrong with searching for, with hoping for these things. In fact, they’re a part of finding real love. You have to find someone with whom you can build a future with. And to build a future, you need that support, you need that consistency.
You need someone who shows up and stays.
But love isn’t just about moving through the patterns and days with ease. It’s also about finding someone with whom you’re comfortable fighting with and fighting for. It’s also about finding a person who knows how to stand up to you when you’re dead wrong, and how to find a balance when you’re just not seeing eye-to-eye.
Just as much as love is about finding peace, calm, and a safe haven, it’s also about finding someone you’re not afraid to change with.
Because in life, change is inevitable.
One minute you think you know what you’re career is going to be. You’re running forward in the direction of your dreams, feeling passionate and alive with desire. And then, all of a sudden something changes, something shifts.
Maybe it’s a death, an illness, a job loss. Maybe it’s the answer you were praying for completely falling short. Or maybe it’s something you didn’t realize you needed happening in a way you never imagined. Whatever it is, this change is a testament to the way life ebbs and flows.
Nothing stays consistent, not even love.
But that’s not meant to scare you. It’s meant to remind you that even when you try your hardest to make a person stay, there’s a chance they might not. Even when you pour your heart and soul into a relationship, it might not work out. Your biggest and most heart-filled aspirations don’t always fall into place.
But still—love is worth pursuing, people are worth falling for.
You just have to pursue the people you know you’re not afraid to change with. Because the change will come. You will grow into a new person, and the person you date—they will become new, too. Sometimes you’ll change together. Sometimes you’ll change apart. There will be things that you pursue alongside one another, and dreams that will lead you in entirely different directions.
What matters is that you continue to choose one another, choose to grow rather than run.
We’ve been taught to see love as a solution, but in all honesty, it’s anything but. Love isn’t an answer; it’s a journey. It’s a rollercoaster ride of ups, downs, and backflips. And amidst all that chaos is the realization that finding someone you’re not afraid to change with is the biggest blessing of all.
When you can look into that person’s eyes and realize they are supporting you—in all your forms and shifts—that’s love. And regardless of how difficult it is (because it inevitably will be), that’s worth fighting for.
Featured Image Credit: TONL