You Are Always Whole

woman looking down with hair around her neck
📷: Avi Richards

“I’m broken.” Have you ever said those words to yourself? Have you ever believed them? Spoke them to truth? Identified with them until they became the way you looked at your reflection in the bedroom mirror?

‘Broken’ is a word we use to describe ourselves when something aches, when something goes wrong, when we lose someone we love or a relationship falls apart around us. ‘Broken’ is a word we cling to, sometimes even desperately, when we no longer know who we are without the security of a loved one’s arms around our shoulders, or feelings of security we’ve grown comfortable with.

‘Broken’ is a word we’ve learned to claim, a word that has become more of a noun than an adjective.

But we are not broken.

There may be pieces of us that ache. There may be fragments of our hearts left in ruins after a breakup or loss. There may be voices in our head telling us that we can’t, that we’re alone, that there’s nothing left for us. There may be things that feel off, or wrong. There may be moments where we can barely lift our head from the pillows, or when we turn our face from the sun.

There may be so much loss around us, it feels like we’ll never find our footing again.

But we are not broken.

See, ‘broken’ is an adjective, a description. ‘Broken’ is temporary state of being, a stage, a moment, a feeling. You can have parts that are broken, or moments where you feel broken. But the truth is, you are not a broken person.

You are always whole, always complete, always full and worthy.

And never less than that, despite any pain you may feel or face.

We’ve grown so accustomed to believing that the sin, the hurt, the negative experiences we face write our story—but they don’t. Yes, there is something to be learned in every fall and failure, but our self-definition is not based upon the times we’ve lost our way.

We are, instead, defined by how we rise, how we continue, how we pick up our pieces, heal back together, and start again.

We may be bruised. We may be missing a few parts that we’ll soon rediscover in time. We may have a hell of a time getting back up again. But we are never broken beyond repair.

’Broken’ is a describing word, not a noun. We can feel broken, we can act broken, we can sound or look broken, but we are not broken.

Remember that whatever you face, whatever circumstances this life throws at you, whatever pain you feel deep within your chest—this is valid—feel it, embrace it, try to understand it, accept it, change from it, grow because of it, but do not identify with it.

Hold onto your self-worth, your self-love, the sense of who you are and always will be. Regardless of who walks away, who leaves, who passes, what happens, or what’s next—you are always a whole and complete person. Nothing will ever change that.