There are some people you’ll meet in this life who will only love you temporarily. There are souls who will intertwine with yours for a moment, then unravel and wander away. There are friends who are not meant to stay forever. There are people who will only take and never give.
None of these impermanent people, or their eventual departures determine your worth.
But it hurts, oh it hurts when they leave. You give yourself away, only to end up empty. You put your time and energy into a relationship that only falls short. You love, only to be chastised for caring too much. You ache, only to be told you’re sensitive, emotional, or weak.
But there is nothing wrong with you.
I want you to know that. I want you to know that your heart beats strongly. And even if it has beat for the wrong person, even if it has led you astray, even if you feel bruised right now in the wake of a connection falling apart—hold onto the truth of your strength and sensitivity—those traits are one in the same.
You are not less because he left, because she cheated, because everything came undone. You are not wrong for putting yourself fully into a person who couldn’t even give you him or her full self in return.
Sometimes people can’t love us with the same spirit, same wholeness, same tenacity. Sometimes, at the end of the day, we are left with nothing. Sometimes we are so empty, so broken, so unfulfilled.
But these moments become lessons, not self-definitions. These broken relationships are our teachers. This heartache will heal. These days will lead into tomorrows that you will step into with confidence and grace. Hold on. You will get there.
You cannot blame yourself for the pieces falling apart. You can learn your lesson, you can change what needs to be altered within yourself, you can start over. But you cannot hang onto what is out of your control.
You cannot lower your self-image because of someone who doesn’t see your worth.
Close your eyes. Begin again. Find someone who will value all the beauty and strength within you. Find someone whose heart beats in rhythm, instead of dissonance with yours. Find friendships that will build you, hands that will hold you, arms that will lift you up.
Fall into people who are already falling forward into you—not as a surrender, but as a mutual new beginning. Find someone who sees love in you, and steps fearlessly forward. Find someone who wants nothing else than to give you all that you give—equal, compromise, two wholes becoming even fuller, together.
And then pour yourself into those people.
Let go of the past. Forget the times you gave and ended up with nothing. Release the fear of being empty-handed in the end. Let go of the ones who couldn’t love you, who walked, who balked, who left. Make room in your heart for the right ones, for the self-love, for the hope of beginnings yet to come.
Featured Image Credit: Helena Lopes
This was nicely written and inspiring, thank you!
I read this at least four times today and it is helping me get through after speaking my mind to man who played me.
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Marisa Donnelly, thanks a lot for the article post.Much thanks again. Fantastic.
So happy you enjoyed it!