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For The Exhausted Soul: How To Let Go & Find Healing

happy woman smelling flowers

You are the person who always gives, always cares. When it comes to the people you love, you prioritize them without question. And maybe not always at your detriment, but you’re so closely intertwined with those you care about that sometimes you forget your own needs should come first sometimes, too. You give and give. But now when you look in the mirror you no longer see your heart—you see an exhausted soul.

Exhausted. That’s the word that defines you as of late. You’ve always been passionate, always been giving, always saw yourself as the person with a big heart. But now you have no room and nothing left to give. You feel empty, despite all the positive words and encouragement you try to tell yourself in an effort to fill back up.

But here’s what you need to know—it’s okay to let go sometimes. It’s okay to think of yourself, your self-love and your healing first. Here’s how:

Remember that you are not a savior.

You are not supposed to be the person who saves, who fixes, who does all the work while others sit on the sidelines, passive in their own healing process.

Although you can, and should (and should feel pride, too!) in being someone who invests in others, you have to understand that it’s not your job to carry someone who won’t carry him/herself. You can do all the hard work and that won’t change how someone feels or what someone does. It isn’t your responsibility to be a savior; you can simply be a friend.

Do one small thing every day for yourself.

If you want to let go and find healing, you have to learn that it’s okay to do things for yourself (and do them often). You have to understand that thinking about what you need isn’t selfish—it’s smart.

As an empath, the only way you can fill others is if you fill yourself. Even in the most fundamental and basic of ways, think of yourself and prioritize your needs so that you can be the best version of yourself. Although your purpose is not to solely give (you need to receive, too!) you will be a better giver if you share that same love and care with yourself.

Listen to your inner voice.

Your inner voice is the voice that guides you. it’s the voice that propels you forward, even when you’re not sure of your next step. Listen to it. This voice will tell you when you’re tired, when you’re overwhelmed, and when you need to take a break.

It’s important that you honor it, not ignore it.

Don’t feel guilty about saying ‘no’ or ‘later.’

A ‘no’ is not a negative. Sometimes a ‘no’ means not right now. Sometimes it means that you must take a necessary break first. Sometimes it means that you’re becoming the best version of yourself, first, before you can do anything for another else.

Understand that giving someone space can help their healing, too.

People need to heal in different ways. And sometimes that healing comes when they’re doing the active work. Yes, you can give to others (and when that’s an inherent part of your personality, you must!) but that doesn’t have to be your sole purpose.

Understand that sometimes giving people the space to step up and save themselves is just as fundamental in their healing.

Dear Exhausted Soul, remember that tiredness isn’t weakness.

Just because you identify as an exhausted soul right now doesn’t mean that you’re less strong. Tiredness isn’t weakness. Taking a break doesn’t mean you’ve failed. When you’re feeling less powerful, remind yourself of all that you’ve done and all whom you’ve helped.

Ground yourself in your purpose and be patient with your emotions. Teaching yourself to be strong is sometimes the hardest hurdle of all.

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Marisa Donnelly, M.Ed., is a writer/editor, credentialed teacher, proud bonus mama, and CEO of Be A Light Collective, a coaching and content creation business and digital marketplace. She is the Director of Donnelly’s Daily Apple, a flexible learning/tutoring and educational resource platform, and the lead voice for Momish Moments and Step by Step Parents, verticals dedicated to sharing and advocating for non-traditional parenting journeys. Marisa currently resides in San Diego, California, with her fiancé, kiddo, and their two rambunctious Pitbulls. ❤️

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