I Am Not A Hookup Girl

I Am Not A Hookup Girl
📷: Eva Balogh

A few months ago, I wrote an article called “I Am Not A Netflix And Chill Kind Of Girl” which received both positive and negative feedback. This is my response to some of the hate comments. I am (still!) not a hookup girl. And I’m damn proud of that.

I am not a hookup girl. I am not a ‘Netflix and Chill’ girl.

And I am proud of this.

This is the life I want to live: Where I fall in love. Where I don’t sleep around. Where I want to be challenged by my relationship. Where I want to do things and not simply live life vicariously through a TV screen.

That does not make me “needy.” That does not make me “entitled.” That does not make me “selfish,” “self-serving,” “stuck-up,” “shallow,” “conceited,” or a “bitch.”
That makes me a woman with strong opinions. A woman with a voice. A woman who’s confident in herself, and who knows what she wants.

To the men who shame me for this perspective: I’m not interested in you anyways. I’m sorry that asking for your time rather than staring at a screen or having meaningless sex is too “high maintenance” for you. That’s fine. I’ll wait for the right man.

But to be honest, it’s not the men who concern me. It’s the women.

It’s the women who think I’m ‘slut-shaming’ for giving my opinion on the person I am.

This literally has nothing to do with anyone else. But if the shoe fits…

It’s the women who write hateful comments to me, who say I’m “judging” them, that I’m not “letting them live their lives”…is my opinion on ‘Netflix and Chill’ really affecting you so much?

Because it shouldn’t.

Women preach feminism, then break down other women.

Why are you attacking me for expressing my opinion on this aspect of the dating culture? I haven’t done a thing to you. I’ve just written honestly, unapologetically.

I don’t care if you want a Friends With Benefits, a hookup, a casual and open relationship. That’s great.

That’s just not me.

I hate how women have to attack other women for thinking differently or assume, in my case, that I’m shaming them because I have a different opinion.

Newsflash ladies: Feminism isn’t about being b*tches to one another and throwing our bodies around under the guise of independence and sexual liberation.

Do what you want with your life (everyday life and sex life). That’s awesome. I’m not judging.

But Feminism isn’t just about the freedom to have sex. Frankly, it’s really not about sex at all.

To my fellow women: I’m not judging or shaming you for what you do (or don’t do) with your bodies. We have different opinions. That’s good.

We should be building each other up, not breaking each other down.

I don’t think I’m better than you.

But I don’t write hateful comments to you. I don’t call you a slut and every other terrible name in the book. I let you live your lives.

I don’t think I’m better than you.

I just don’t sleep around. And I write about my opinions because I feel they’re important. And guess what? That’s ok.