When I was younger, I thought love was bumping into someone and realizing that your hearts beat to the same rhythm, as simple as laughing over spilled coffee, or saying “excuse me” and locking eyes, knowing, beyond a doubt, that you’d fallen into Mr. Right. I thought love was easy. That finding your someone would be in an ordinary slice of time, suddenly seeing someone who had everything you were searching for, and then building your happily-ever-after from that moment forward.
But love isn’t like that.
And though my definition has changed and shaped, though, in some ways I’m disappointed that it’s been more challenging than my ten-year-old self thought, I love how love has both defied and exceeded my expectations. I love that love is messy, and complicated, and scary, and frustrating, and raw, and real.
I love that love is not just slipping into rhythm with someone else, not simply bumping into them at a street corner and making eyes, not the boring and ho-hum and monotony of moving through every day together.
I love that love is filled with challenge and choice—that you are constantly pulled in different directions by the world, constantly pushed by your partner to be a better version of yourself, and constantly making a conscious decision to pursue your love in a world that makes connection temporary.
I love that love is an action. That you have to step forward, that you have to trust, that you have to walk with your person, even when life puts obstacles in your way. I love that you have to believe, regardless of what the world says, and fight, even when the road is tough.
I love that loving someone is complicated—because that’s what makes the connection beautiful. Relationships don’t come easy, but finding your forever is so worth working for.
Love, I’ve learned, is not about finding someone who is everything you’ve ever wanted. Because, first of all, perfection is impossible. But second of all, we’re human and always changing, growing, becoming. So finding someone who makes sense with you is not about them being absolutely wonderful, but about their messy life mixing with yours. About how your sins match your own, about how you are both flawed people who see beyond the imperfections and love one another regardless.
And so, love becomes a choice. Choosing to accept the places that are bruised, or torn, or stubborn in one another. Choosing to care for one another, no matter what happens. Choosing to believe that what you have is worth fighting for, worth believing in, worth pursuing, even when the world brushes connections off as fleeting.
Choosing to say, ‘yes, I’m in.
And so, love becomes an action. Standing up for one another. Stepping towards. Following the beating of your heart. Trusting. Going forward together. Making the decision to believe and become something beautiful.
Taking love and making it not only a noun, but a verb.
From a description to something you do and live out, every single day.
Featured Image Credit: Gul Kurtaran
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Marisa, you’re just too much! Ride on.