You will never find love if you are forever searching, if you are peeling back the layers of yourself and analyzing every thought and insecurity as a measure of your worth. If you are evaluating yourself based upon the relationships that have come before and broken, by the people who couldn’t promise themselves to you in the same capacity. You will never find love if you are so desperate for it, thinking that without this component, you are somehow less than whole.
Love is not the epitome of your being.
Finding someone and learning to dance around this messy world will not solve your problems, heal your pain, or teach you who you’re meant to be. Only time, and trust, and mistakes, and selfish pursuit will teach you that. Only falling down and learning to let go. Only allowing this life to shape you, but never break you.
Love will pick you up off the ground when you’ve fallen, will give strength to the wings already cemented into your back. Love will fill your lungs with new air, will show you who you are even more capable of becoming, alongside someone who values your growth as much as their own.
Love will lift you from darkness, but you must do the rescuing yourself. Love will give you one of the most beautiful pieces of this life and watch as you bloom under its care. Love will reopen and renew all that has come before, mend bruises and heal breaks, help you restart and move forward with knowledge of how to share your heart fully and deeply.
Love will teach you how to begin.
And maybe this moment will come when you least expect it, strangers bumping into one another on a silent train, a friendship suddenly blossoming into something more. Or maybe this will be a gradual shaking of your core, finding someone whose energy perfectly matches your wildness and realizing that yes, forever really was possible all along.
No matter the circumstance, someday love will find you and show you, even in your fullness, what your heart was missing. Someday love will find you and reveal all the magical parts of you that were hiding beneath your skin. Someday love will find you and remind you of your inherent worth—a worth that exists regardless of a relationship status.
But you must be open to it.
Be open to the fact that someone may see the delicate and fragile parts of you. Be open to the idea that you are vulnerable, and trusting someone with the reality of who you are, even when it’s ugly. Be open to the promise that a person will come, but probably not when you’re expecting or hoping them to appear.
Be open to the fact that in falling, you’re starting over, starting new—and that’s equally terrifying as enthralling.
Someday love will find you—in your state of wild self-love, in your brokenness, in your mix of emotions, in your readiness, in your confusion—and teach you how to begin.
How to put the past behind you and your best foot forward in careful steps. How to release all that was not meant for you and focus on what’s coming. How to forgive and engage without baggage. How to give every part yourself without losing who you are along the way.
Someday love will find you and open the doors to your new life.
And I hope you walk through, proud and unafraid.